His diaries are a passionate search, search of a strategy (how to act?), search of his way (maybe give up everything?). After exhausting work he attentively reads books, from children informative literature and to philosophy of Diderot, Dostoevsky, Engels, also textbooks of wushu and meditation. In diaries he thinks about life, about what he read in books, describes his observations on the garden.
Here is an excerpt from his diary:
“Therefore, I am inclined to the revolutionary comprehension of the world and begin to understand the meaning of this concept. The materialist revolutionary comprehension means not to rely on anyone, not to complain, not to beg for favors, not to expect kindness, but to rely on yourself, knowing the laws of spiritual and material development of yourself and of the environment, to build your own world, or how the Chinese would say – to reveal your inner inexhaustible force chi “(13 November 2011)